The Carrying

A prayer for all of the many brothers and sisters living through intense suffering all over the world, both far away, and close to home…

6/9/14

I’m carrying my brother to You,

In all of his wounds, his scars and broken pieces

I’m holding him out to You,

Crying

Begging,

“Fix it, Lord. Can’t you heal him, Lord?

When will there be an end to this?

Can’t you stop the bleeding?”

But You just take him into Your own arms,

Bleeding, wounded, crying

And You carry him.

 

I’m carrying my sister to You,

In all of her gaping wounds, and darkness, and the broken pieces of her life

I’m holding her out to You,

Crying

Begging,

“Fix it, Lord! Why can’t you give her something solid,

Something to rest in, and piece her back together?”

But You just take her into Your own arms,

Bleeding, wounded, crying

And You carry her.

 

I’m carrying my heart to You,

In its weakness and vulnerability, in all of its wounds and pains and brokenness

I’m holding it out to You,

Crying

Begging

“Fix this, Lord! Can’t you solidify my heart,

and make me love truly?

Can’t you take away my rejections, my stoniness,

And just make me new?”

But You just take me in Your arms,

Weak, weary, and worn

And You carry me.

 

Why must it be this way?

I only want it to be fixed,

An ending to this heartache,

to this darkness,

to the pain

And all You want is to be with me,

Whatever it takes.

 

Maybe, one day,

at the end of the journey,

we will lift our heads from your chest,

in our bleeding,

weary,

woundedness

and look back on the road, and realize

that healing came not in ways we looked for,

in immediate resolutions,

in solvings,

or ends

but in a quiet, gradual, silent way:

 

that healing came

from being held.

 

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